Who am I?

Fifteen days since I last blogged! Maybe this is why I am not an Amitabh Bachchan – I just lack the discipline! The irony is that I really want to be. I would want to be – I would so like to be the kind of person who wakes up at the crack of the dawn and lives her life as per a pre planned super process flow. Instead I languish in bed until the last possible minute and then rush through my day.

Another mystery is this discrepancy between the work me and the real(?) me. I have been trying to figure it out since I realized at the tender age of 10 that I was more than one person. !8 years later – I am no closer to figuring it out. The work me is super efficient and planned. If I have a June 30^th deadline, I am normally finished atleast a few days in advance. I will start hyper ventilating if anything needs to be done at last possible minute. The other me? If I have guests coming over at 7 p.m. for dinner I open the fridge at 5 and take a call on whether to cook or order in. Needless the say the latter generally wins.

This isn’t all. I am super confident even a little (okay a lot) pushy at work – I didn’t get to the job I hold now without a little jostling – but at home I am a wimp. I admit it I am still scared of my parents and expectations of any and all kinds smother me. At work I don’t give a damn. At other times, I care, I care a lot. Now the couch psychologist in you might say, I obviously care more about my personal life than my career. Not completely true. I spend more hours at work than at home and truly love my job. I am pretty much on call 24/7 but don’t complain because – I repeat myself – I truly love my job.

Other differences – I hold a job which requires me to network and schmooze and generally spend most of my work day interacting with people – not a problem – I am a people person and an extrovert but when I get home – I go into social hibernation – me, my husband in a cocoon of nothingness!

So who am I? I don’t know – I am at work now so am in thinking mode! Once I get home, I will stir my pot of dinner and put it out of my mind. The other me doesn’t like to exercise her brains much you see!